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I have an old Dell Intel Pentium 4 2.53GHz (Northwood B?), 1 GB ram, and its hardware is good. 
I just want to wipe the whole damn thing (after dumping files, etc.) It is obviously not a dual core 64-bit processor—does this mean I should just stick with Xubuntu? I would PREFER Loki!
Thanks for taking the time to point me in right direction.
Loki (elementary OS 0.4) does not support 32-bit processors such as yours, but the previous version (Freya, 0.3) does. Still, I wouldn't expect it to run well since the processor is below system recommendations and since Freya will only be supported slightly longer. Luna (0.2) is a better fit for your hardware, but I wouldn't recommend using unsupported software.
Personally, I think you would be better off with a distro optimized specifically for older hardware, but if you're feeling bold, why not give Freya a shot? You can find a copy here.
Try running Xubuntu or Lubuntu 16.04, they work better in older hardware. You can always customize it so it looks like Elementary.
